On Sept 17, 2023, I boarded a flight to Washington D.C. I prayed that during the flight God would use me to be a blessing to someone or that I may be blessed by another. I was in the last group to board the Southwest flight and as is my policy, I chose the first open seat available as I boarded. A 40-something, smartly dressed woman occupied the aisle seat and smiled warmly at me as I settled into the dreaded middle seat. We had the usual nice exchange…”You headed home or going somewhere exciting? Personal or professional travel? Where are you from?” We spent the next 2 hours chatting.

An executive with a large, international organization, she lived a very stressful life. Previously engaged to an alcoholic, she was a single mother to 2 boys, ages 11 and 22. Because of his alcoholism, she broke off the engagement, though still deeply cared for him. Now dying from complications related to his addiction, she was just returning from a trip to visit him. She, herself, is living with rheumatoid arthritis and lupus, which has resulted in organ damage and chronic pain. She refuses to let her illness stop her. At one point in our conversation, she spoke of how she perceives that her life will be shortened by her chronic illness and that the stress of her job was eating at her. She explained that her mother had been married and divorced 5 times. As a result, at a young age, she learned to be independent. At one time in her life, she lived in her car. Vowing that she would never place her own children in the same situation, she works to generate wealth that she can leave for them. Subsequently, she often works to the point of exhaustion and exacerbation of her chronic disease. Of course, I went palliative care nurse on her and asked, “If you perceive that your time is limited, what is the most important thing to you?” Tears welled in her eyes and she stated, “my children.” We discussed that time can’t be earned or saved. Time merely passes and if we don’t use it wisely, it will simply be gone.  We shared our faith, our fears, our joys.

This leads me to this, the first of my blog posts. I shared with her that I wanted to write a blog someday about my experiences as a palliative care NP. Some of my greatest spiritual encounters and “aha” life moments have occured through my work. She asked me, “What are you waiting for?” And I didn’t have a good answer. Of course there is always the fear of rejection or dealing with opposing views. When talking about quality of life and end of life, controversy can certainly abound. I cited that I don’t have time, I’m not confident in how to get started and of course, what if nobody reads it. But I decided that I can’t let fear hold me back. And so here it is, my inaugural thegoodlifeNP blog post. I will use this blog to share my experiences and thoughts about caring for patients and families facing serious illness, my thoughts about life and death. My hope is to share stories that inspire and provoke thought. I also hope that in sharing with all of you, I will rejuvenate myself and find the endurance to continue my God-appointed position as a palliative care nurse practitioner. Enjoy!