People often say “everything happens for a reason.” This phrase is typically used by well meaning, caring people as words of comfort to another going through a painful or difficult situation. Hearing these words is not helpful to the person walking through the valley. How can there be reason in a 3-year-old child dying of cancer while his parents look on as the doctors attempt to resuscitate him? How can there be a reason for a soldier who is shot in the spine and paralyzed only to endure months of hospitalization before he dies in the arms of his adoring wife? How can there be a reason for a husband, father, papa who has lived with an unspoken pain that he can no longer bear and so chooses to leave this world on his own accord, leaving a wake of pain, heartache, and sorrow? How can there be reason in a woman being brutally attacked in the presence of her children by her husband?
Finding purpose
I do not for one second believe that everything happens for a reason. But I am a firm believer that we can discover purpose in our pain. The family of the 3-year-old starts a non-profit organization to provide wagons for children living with serious illness. Knowing the burden of having a hospitalized child, these wagons make the hospital visits just a bit easier. The wife of the soldier starts a non-profit organization that helps veterans and their families. She becomes one of the fiercest political advocates in the country for veteran issues. The daughter ministers to those around her about mental health and lives her life in tune with others feelings. She seeks any opportunity to prevent another needless loss of life. The woman chooses not to be a victim but to be a survivor. She shows her children and everyone around her that living in fear is no way to live at all.
There is always purpose no matter the circumstances. Amanda Gorman stated, “There is always light if only we are brave enough to see it. If only we are brave enough to be it.” Sometimes we must look hard to see the light. It may not be apparent right away. Sometimes it takes years, even decades to find the light, to find the purpose that may arise from the pain. Whatever you are walking through righ now, I encourage you to seek the purpose in your pain.
Like to listen to Podcasts? Check out “Everything Happens” by Kate Bowler. Kate is a professor at Duke University who shares stories about success, failure, suffering and happiness. As a stage IV cancer survivor she has a unique world view that is sure to inspire you!